By Walt Urnative
Atrociated Press.

BLINEDRAGE, Fla. – Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh experienced an on air breakdown Thursday afternoon. Medical experts now think it is a classic case of Post Democratic National Convention Disorder, or PDNCD. Limbaugh is not alone in his affliction. Millions of Americans were exposed to the Democratic National Convention this week, and the long term results have yet to be studied.

“I never thought my job could be considered hazardous,” Rush Limbaugh stated. “But PDNCD is disrupting my personal life. Even my loving and supportive cat, Pumpkin, is feeling the effects. Hopefully treatment will keep me at sub-Michelle-Obama rage levels.”

“It's not necessarily harmful to be exposed to liberal rhetoric in moderation,” said medical researcher Ann Allist. “But viewing the Democratic National Convention for minutes at a time is not healthy for anyone.” Dr. Allist was appointed by the EIB network to ensure its employees are capable of meeting and surpassing audience expectations on a daily basis. The report on Limbaugh showed his blood pressure peaked during exposure to Vice Presidential Nominee Joe Biden. Limbaugh was advised to smoke cigars and cut down on his exposure to liberals for the rest of the day.

Researchers are looking for a link between brain activity and PDNCD. Studies have shown the less brain activity a person has, the more resistant he may be to PDNCD. However, those who can tolerate long term exposure to the Democratic National Convention tend to be angry all the time. So although their stress level doesn't elevate in periods of peak exposure to democrats, it cannot be raised since it is already maxed out. In fact, some researchers believe PDNCD resistant people may actually experience lower blood pressure and feelings similar to relaxation while being exposed to liberal propaganda – but bitterness quickly returns, leaving them open to repetitive emotion injuries.

More fine reporting at conservatire.com, your source for conservative satire.